Rain, rain, go away!

So today I decided to take the night off. It was raining pretty hard and I hate rain. I hate the lights that reflect off of the wet streets. I hate how all the people on the road collectively forget how to drive. I hate the sound that the windshield wipers make. I hate keeping my windows closed all night and constantly battling a fogging up windshield. It's not worth the money. Not even for a busy Friday night. They can keep it, I'll stay home and dry.

Since I've driven for a few years without a blog and since I do take some nights off, I figure that whenever I'm off I'll update my blog with a past story. Eventually I'll catch up, even if it takes a few years! :)

So about 2 years ago, I picked up a Hasidic Jew in Boro Park who wanted to go to Williamsburg. No problem, hop in. After I get a few blocks, this guy, who is about 17 or so, just blurts out this question: "Do you mind if I masturbate?" So, being shocked and all, I say, "What? What do you mean? Like, in general? Sure dude. Do whatever it is you do." He says, "No. I mean now."
Now this is interesting. I've seen and heard some things in my cab, but this one actually took me by surprise. You can only imagine. "Why do you want to jerk off in my cab? What the hell?"
So he explains to me that it's against his religion and that if he got caught it's a mess of problems for him, so they have to find other places to take care of business. I ask him if he has a bathroom in his house. I mean, c'mon. He says that it isn't worth the risk, and that there's no privacy because of how many people are in his house, etc.

So what can I do? How should I handle this one? I say, "You wanna jerk off in my cab? One hundred bucks on top of the meter." I figure what the hell. A hundred bucks is a hundred bucks, and I have a partition to close. He says, "No. How about $50?"
So he has reached the point in his life where he is bargaining with a cab driver the price of him being able to masturbate. Are you kidding me? In a way I felt bad for this kid. "No. 100 bucks or keep your hands where I can see them!"
He agreed, and took no enjoyment in, well, of himself. I did feel a little bad for the guy. I started giving him some ideas. Like, how about in the shower dude! Or, how about in the bathroom of a McDonalds! It actually seemed like these were new ideas to him. How do you get to the thought of the back of a cab while not exploring other private places? He wanted to bargain for $50 when you can get an hourly motel cheaper! Maybe he just liked me? Nah. That can't be it. If you've been in my cab you'd see that I'm no poster child for masturbating too. Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!

Well, that is one of my past stories that I felt the need to share. Hopefully you enjoyed it. If you're anything like me you'll feel a mixture of humor, sadness and shock all in one.

Why would you even ask? Okay, I'm not exploring that any further. It's still raining outside, but tomorrow's supposed to be cloudy but dry. Dry is good. I'll work just a little harder to make up for taking tonight off, and being a Saturday night, I'm sure I can get some more material! See ya tomorrow.